Crow king- design

I don't think it's final version, I'm not very happy with pencils, it looks messy and too dark for me, but I took the pencils because I didn't know how to do this. Now I think about 1.simplified ink version, 2. full colour version at least A3 size.

The picture is about the song of Bring The War Home- Crow King. It's really an awesome song, Peter Dolving's vocals there give me creeps, so I tried to pick up the lyrics. But there will be for sure SOME SMALL MISTAKES, so better check out with the song at the link:
[link]

CROW KING BRING THE WAR HOME

Oh mother, oh mother, mind my words,
I curse the day that you gave me birth
.................and screaming, and through this cold earth(?)
For the blue- eyed boy turned to black eyed crow.

Every distinctive memory tarnished of sanity
carefully erasing our hope to trust
Continuously string in your necklace of failure (??),
a treasure and pleasure on your poll of suicide.

Oh mother, oh mother, you carry no claim,
Your love is a mockery and nursing betrayal.
You're blessed and the wretched it's of your own dismay,
For blue- eyed girl turned to black- eyed crow.
Every violent explosion assuring your get away,
twisting the truth into appropriate
Endlessly blaming previous tragedy,
Chasing the tail of your goddamn alibi.

Oh father, my father, shed tears on my grave,
For the feelingless bastard (?)I slowly became
And on the coach(??) where I stay till the day when i die,
For the son of the black- eyed crow never cries.

Because hatred's a fire and it burns like a knife,
It will burn through the soul like the edge of desire.
Kingdoms will crumble and empires fall
For the emptiness filled by (?)black crow's crow.

I have become the king of crows.